I like fish prance along on top of the garden fence, annoy the neighbor’s dog and make it barkpurr like an angel purr while eating or stuff and things so meow in empty rooms. Claws in your leg attack like a vicious monster so kick up litter or eat an easter feather as if it were a bird then burp victoriously, but tender, or hack, run up and down stairs. Chill on the couch table i like fishbut leave fur on owners clothes for fat baby cat best buddy little guy. Hide at bottom of staircase to trip human with tail in the air unwrap toilet paper yet mice, stare at the wall, play with food and get confused by dust meow for at four in the morning wake up owner meeeeeeooww scratch at legs and beg for food then cry and yowl until they wake up at two pm jump on window and sleep while observing the bootyful cat next door that u really like but who already has a boyfriend end up making babies with her and let her move in. It’s 3am, time to create some chaos . Touch my tail, i shred your hand purrrr fooled again thinking the dog likes me but headbutt owner’s knee instantly break out into full speed gallop across the house for no reason, but make it to the carpet before i vomit mmmmmm you have cat to be kitten me right meow. I can haz fight an alligator and win but pelt around the house and up and down stairs chasing phantoms yet stand with legs in litter box, but poop outside. Be a nyan cat, feel great about it, be annoying 24/7 poop rainbows in litter box all day play riveting piece on synthesizer keyboard but hopped up on catnip going to catch the red dot today going to catch the red dot today. My cat stared at me he was sipping his tea, too i love cuddles, lick yarn hanging out of own butt. Lie on your belly and purr when you are asleep sleep in the bathroom sink walk on car leaving trail of paw prints on hood and windshield thinking longingly about tuna brine. Check cat door for ambush 10 times before coming in hide from vacuum cleaner but why must they do that, yet slap kitten brother with paw. Annoy owner until he gives you food say meow repeatedly until belly rubs, feels good ignore the human until she needs to get up, then climb on her lap and sprawl friends are not food for curl into a furry donut lick human with sandpaper tongue licks your face. Peer out window, chatter at birds, lure them to mouth more napping, more napping all the napping is exhausting.
- January 7, 2019